Salesforce Data Loader on Linux? Can it be?

I've been a Salesforce Admin and Developer for about 6 years, and throughout this entire time I've just used my Windows work computer.

In my past, though, I loved using Linux and missed that feeling of experimentation, messing with system-level settings, and freedom- not being tied to Microsoft's operating system. Some issues with my Windows installation recently made me extremely frustrated - enough so that I just said "Enough! I'm going back to Linux!"

So I backed up my computer, and decided to install Ubuntu - a very popular distribution of Linux.
After a few hours of setting things up 'just like I want' and challenges getting my company's email set up - I felt like I have a good working environment, and went back to my actual work.

One of the first things I needed to do was use Dataloader to update a large amount of records.
Oh oh.
What?
There is NO version of Data Loader for Linux?
What the hey, Salesforce?

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As a co-leader of the New York City Developer User Group I've had the please of running a series called "Apex Workshop" with Luke Cushanick Follow @AlwaysThinkin.

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